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| The following is a letter I wrote to my Dad a few years ago. I offer it as a tribute to his impact on my life and as an encouragement to all you dads who are working hard to raise your kids. Who you are and what you do matters to your sons and daughters. Dad, I interact with people all the time who never knew love and security in their home as they were growing up. I don’t think I have told you often enough how thankful I am that God put me in such a great family. I have been reflecting over the last month about the many things that I appreciate about you, Dad – the many things you did well as a father, how I felt about you as I was growing up. Probably most important is that you loved Mom. We knew it and I suspect everyone knew it – and still knows it! Affection, honor, and respect were all part of it, and it seems as if you have passed it on to your boys. • You were always there – rarely were you simply off doing your own thing while we were growing up. Home at 5:00, home on the weekends, playing with us, at our games, a constant presence. • There was fun and laughter in our family. Teasing and love went together. I remember your telling me why you tease people while standing in line at an ice cream store – to give attention to people and make them smile. • You were not a passive father letting things happen. You were “large and in charge.” There are too many passive fathers today who are ineffective because they simply do not lead their families. You were clearly our leader. This is so obvious to you that it probably is a surprise that I would even mention it. • You were always affectionate – not just physically, kissing and hugging us, but giving us names of endearment. I was “Tiger” or “Pal.” You told me you loved me regularly! • You were a model of strength and integrity. Doing things right and being true to ourselves was important. You instilled in us a strong sense of moral values. When I came to faith in Christ my moral values did not need to change. • You held us accountable. There were consequences to our actions. You taught us that being a man was about taking responsibility– for our actions and for leadership You loved us by not giving in. In an old song by Dan Fogelberg entitled The Leader of the Band – it seems to be an ode to his father – he sings, “You earned my love through discipline, a thundering velvet hand.” It is a beautiful picture of what I remember. Don’t mess with Dad but he loves me! • You modeled financial integrity – we knew nothing about the family finances. But you made it clear that life was not about having a lot of money. I never felt bad about not having the things other kids had (in fact I always thought we had it better because of you and Mom). I never felt the pressure to keep up with Atherton neighbors. It is not insignificant that some of my fondest memories are when you were out of work. But that was a result of the whole orientation toward life that you and Mom brought to us throughout our life. • You were always generous toward us. Of course I did not understand the measure of your generosity until much later. I suspect that the large gifts you have given us and our kids over these last few years were less of a sacrifice than all the small things you did for us growing up when things were tighter. These magnanimous gifts of late are not new – you have always treated us so generously! • You taught us to think. Engaging in conversations around the table, heated debates and disagreements. In the end, we all had our own strong opinions. • You taught us to plan. We needed to think through our proposals well or you would punch holes in our schemes. The refrain of Dan Fogelberg’s song is: Dad, we are so similar it is scary! Your blood does indeed run through my instrument and your song is in my soul. You’ve passed on your legacy to me and I hope I am doing the same to my kids! The last verse of the song is: Dad, I am so proud to be your son! I LOVE YOU! |
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by Dr. J. Patrick Curtis, Senior Pastor |
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